Ethiopian Update #2

Monday, January 5

Ah, another wonderful Ethiopian day. We started early at the orphanage going over paperwork and we had a lot of time to snuggle the babies and play with the older children. I still can’t believe what incredible care the children get. They are so happy. We are also lucky to be sharing this experience with two other adopting families. Our boy Temesgen is wonderful.

He gave me a lot of smiles today and I was amazed at the amount of food this Buddha baby can pack away.

He was so skinny in his referral picture- it is amazing to see how round he is now!! He is still giving Michael the “eye” no matter how much Michael tried to get him to smile. We had the adventure today of picking up a sheep for Christmas dinner at the orphanage. For a gal who spent many years as a vegetarian, literally leading the sheep to slaughter was quite the challenge. Our driver took us to one spot- a small dirt road with lots of sheep roaming around and asked about prices. After arguing back and forth with the guy in Amharic, we all got back in the car because the price was too much and the sheep looked too old.

The second place was along the side of a large highway with sheep milling around in the dust.

Again they haggled for a while and then Dawit turned to me and said which one do you want? As if I know how to pick out a good sheep for dinner! They pulled several sheep out of the herd and stood them up on their hind legs (I’m still not sure what I was suppose to be looking for) and showed us their teeth.



It was Dawit who ended up picking out the sheep and within minutes it was in the trunk of his car. Michael paid them and then some men next to the man we paid started asking for more money for some kind of commission.

Dawit and Michael get back into the car and I try to get back into the car but they wouldn’t let me shut my door and continue holding their hand out. Dawit started driving away and we escaped with my heart beating pretty fast and my door flapping.

At Hope they were thrilled to have the sheep. (Dawit had some cleaning up to do in the trunk) Some of the children clapped. In the US the children would have run up to pet the sheep but here they were happy because they saw dinner. When we left the sheep was tied up in the court yard munching on some dry grass.

We went to the Hilton to exchange money and have lunch. It felt like an extravagant culture shock. After passing through a car check point and going through a metal detector and a security pat down, we passed into the land of the rich. Lush green lawns (the first green thing we have seen here),

an enormous pool, cabanas, fancy stores and several restaurants.

I was once again reminded of such inequality in this world. It made seeing the beggars along the side of the road all the more painful when we left. We then headed to the biggest outside market in Addis to complete the contrast. The best way I can describe it is to imagine taking Canal Street in Manhattan, enlarging it ten fold, don’t take the trash out for a year and construct most of the buildings out of various pieces of tin and you might come close to imagining this market. It is not a tourist place. We were traveling in two cars with the other families and they had a policeman bang on their car and look at them like they were crazy and tell them to roll their windows up. We were stopped by an officer and Dawit was asked to produce his license and then told to get moving.
A few shots of the market.








And finally, a quiet dinner in the hotel that took over two hours and cost eight dollars for Michael and me. Service is Ethiopian style: when they get around to it, but the food was good.

Our US Embassy appointment is tomorrow.

Our Ethiopian Adventure

I could not access my blog in Ethiopia so finally i am uploading the updates from my trip. Here is the first one.

Sunday, January 4th 2009

I don't know how far into this update I will get tonight but I will try. We are very tired and have not had much sleep over the past few days and all that we did have was achieved in an upright position. After a rough start that included a missed flight, a flat tire, a full body search at security that included every item we had with us being pulled out and swiped with bomb sensitive cloths, we were finally on our way to Italy. We tried to make the best of our 16 hour layover in Rome and we explored a bit of the city. It was cold and rainy and we had no coats- hey we thought we were heading to Ethiopia!- but we didn't let that stop us. We toured the Piazza Venezia,

lit candles for our moms at the Basilica dis Maria Sopra Minerva,


This statue was right outside the church. I wish I knew the story about it.

looked with amazement at the Pantheon


and ate a wonderful Italian mean at the M. Agrippa al Pantheon.


This pup waited patiently outside the restaurant.

Then we headed to the Fontana di Trevi where I was thrown back in time. Many years ago, when I was young (carefree and reckless) I swam in that fountain with a friend. I hadn't thought about that in years!

After hours of walking, Michael and I returned to the airport soggy and cold and waited another 7½ hours for our flight. I spoke to Mikaela who is having a great time. When I got off the phone I sobbed into my cappuccino. I can't believe how much I miss her. Thanks Barb,for taking such good care of my baby.
We walked for hours around Rome. Here are some of the things we saw.


These guys had to be ready to flee in a moments notice. Once in a while they would suddenly pick up all their bags and run with the police chasing them. Ten minutes later they would be back doing business.





No Hummers on these streets


Nice advertising. Very subtle...



Getting tired of hoofing it around in the rain for hours.


I wonder how long she has waited for her flight.

The Damn Husband checks out the scenery as we wait for our flight.


Please Miss, help us get to Addis.



When we finally took off on Ethiopian Air to Addis, I slept the whole way. I woke up excited to see my children. Miraculously all our luggage arrived and our driver was waiting for us. On the car ride to the hotel I was relishing all the sights and sounds with pleasure. Once we arrived at the hotel we met two other couples who were heading
to the orphanage to see their children. We thought we would be following after them shortly but we couldn't get hold of our driver or our agency rep who was suppose to meet us to finish up paper work for our Embassy appointment. Michael was extremely jet lagged and I wouldn't let him sleep because I was sure any minute we would get picked up.


He ended up taking a nap and I ended up nearly going insane waiting. When we finally got a driver and arrived at Hope no one knewwe were coming and it was nap time for the babies. The caretakers were so sweet to let us come in. When we walked in they were trying to put a clean outfit on Temesgen and clean up his face.


He is so cute. Temesgen has the sweetest smile. He can stand by himself and crawl anywhere he wants. I can't find the words to describe how it felt to walk into that room and finally see him and kiss his soft feet.


He had a mild curiosity about me and let me hold him for a while but his love was saved for one of the caretakers who doted on him. Whenever he saw her his big eyes lit up and he smiled.




Will this dear sweet babe ever give me that look? I am reminded again that this joyous meeting for me is nothing but grief for him when I eventually take him away from everything he knows and loves. Yes, I am trusting that eventually, he will love his new life but the transition I know will be hard for him.

We were very hungry by the time we made it back to the hotel and we joined the other two couples at an Ethiopian restaurant where they perform traditional dances.


Michael couldn't resist and had to partake in the raw beef, hopefully he won't be sorry later.





When the Damn Husband was almost falling off his chair with exhaustion, I finally agreed to go back to the hotel. He is sleeping as I write this.
I know this update is long and it doesn't even cover a tiny tip of what we have experienced. I was not able to see my daughter, Yaebsira. Someone said she was still down in Nazaret and someone else said she was at a doctor's appointment. I will find out in the morning.

Missed Our Flight Blues

Look. We were all ready to go. Three huge suitcases of donations, our stuff, baby stuff, the laptop for updates, the camera...
So far we have spent $200 to drag it to the airport and back home again.
I should not be blogging right now. I should be on a plane to Washington and then Ethiopia. The Damn husband had a bit of math trouble in choosing our departure time. I trusted him. The rainbow cab driver (no rainbow in sight)drove 25 miles an hour because he was afraid of deer. The line at the United counter was endless. When we got to the counter they no longer have humans helping you so you book everything through a machine. And just like the grocery store automated checkout, it can’t deal with anything unusual. It booted us out of the system because the ticket said we had an infant to check in for a lap seat. The piece of plastic automation did not care that we do not have our child yet and we only need this on the way home. So we were put in the ‘trouble’ line where only one man was working with a power attitude and by the time we got to him he declared we were too late to check our bags in. Next. We could have made it, but he had the authority to say no and seemed to enjoy it. He couldn’t care less that all I want to do is hold my baby. Such irony that the baby ticket is what did us in.
We woke up our LA travel agent and she is working on finding us another flight. I am going to go find something chocolate to eat.

Here is Michael, in full missed-our-flight-blues, waiting to hear back from the travel agent. No picture of me because no one likes to see a grown woman sobbing in an airport terminal.

I'm just not getting that warm holiday feeling.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!
A New Year and new beginnings. I love the thought of new beginnings. I always have. I love the idea of starting over. Like confession, your sins can be washed away and you can once again have the clean soul you have always imagined. I remember that feeling as a kid. (what did I really have to confess then?) of coming out of church after being absolved of my sins and going out into the bright light of day and really feeling clean, forgiven and good. Later when I no longer bought the confession story, I could still feel the black spots landing on my soul but I no longer had a way to get them off again. Now that I have found the site Come Clean, that option is back for me. What fun!! To wash away my sins!! Try it. It is very satisfying. I hadn’t been to the site in a very long time and it was so satisfying this morning!!! A sweet woman offers to wash away your sins. You write down your confession and it appears on her hand and she washes it away. Goodbye sins. So much more fun then going to see a priest. Ah, so on the first day of the New Year, I have come clean. All of you drifted Catholics will love this site.

I am thinking of all the New Year’s resolutions I have made in my life. I remember my teenage resolution to never leave my things on my mother’s dining room table or the stairs and to always make my bed so that my mother would like me. It was unsuccessful in every way.

This year, even though I have decided to skip the resolution ordeal, ideas are still rolling around in my head. It is so irresistible to think about things being different, that I could be different, better, more improved, perfect. I will be a better mother, I will stop blaming the damn husband for everything, I will lose weight, eat right, be right, stop worrying, help others more, change the world, keep a clean house, walk the dog everyday, run a marathon, start a new career, make money from the old career, leap buildings in a single bound,..

This was my last morning to sleep in but of course I couldn't. I woke up at 4am with my mind racing. I stayed in bed curled up with Mikaela for an hour relishing her smell and warm body, taking in the snuggles that I will be missing for the next 10 days. Leaving one child to get another.

Why Ethiopia? SO many people have asked me that. Because that is where my children are.
An art director I really liked working with curled up his nose when he heard as though it were the most distasteful thing he could imagine. I wanted to hurt him. I still do. A vendor I know at the farmer’s market asked, how do I know I will get a child without any problems, what are my guarantees? That was the end of my purchasing sheep cheese. Someone else asked if I had a time periods where I could give them back if things weren’t working out. Oh yeah it is a thirty-day money back guarantee. They come with return postage. Just like your real kids. The stupid comments could win awards: if you were okay with having a black baby, couldn’t you get one in this country for cheaper? Oh, you couldn’t have any more real children? When you get over there can you switch children if you feel like something is wrong with the ones assigned to you? You should really think about what you are doing. I have a friend who adopted and it was such a nightmare for them. On and on the comments go. I WASH THEM AWAY!!!!!

As a child I was told to finish all the food on my plate because there are starving children in Ethiopia. They are dying in the streets. I remember the feeling that gave me in the pit of my stomach as I stared, ungrateful child, at the food on my plate that I didn’t want to eat. How would eating my food help them? The guilt was enormous. I remember wanting to collect food and send it to Ethiopia and being told we couldn’t do that. I am fortunate and others are not. I am ungrateful. So with every meal I had,the guilt piled up with the uneaten food and there they were, the children dying in the streets so far away and somehow I was making it worse not better.

Two years ago I read an article written by Melissa Fay Green, the author of There is No Me Without You, telling her story of adopting her daughter from Ethiopia. I couldn’t stop crying because I knew then that my children were there waiting for me. It has been a straight path from there, but not an easy one. I worry about so many things – where the money will come from, the potential for corruption, how my family will blend together as one, but knowing that it would happen, and knowing all the time that Ethiopia is where my other children are. That is where my children are, and I am going to them tomorrow.

Blessings

I feel a wonderful sense of calm this morning. I leave in two days and I am ready, not packed or finished my to-do lists, but ready regardless. This is the life I have chosen and here it comes full speed ahead and I am happily waiting to meet it. My son will soon be in my arms.
Yesterday my friends surprised me by coming over and throwing me a little going away party. So sweet and just what I needed. Thanks Megan, Lisa D, Lisa C., Kelly, and Colleen. It was wonderful to take a break and appreciate my friends and my blessings.