why blog?

I spent the last week blog searching. I started with blogs that I like and followed  the links for the blogs they like and the other people who follow them. Hundreds of blogs.  I found blogs on crafting, living simple, Buddhism, depression, mommy bloggers, daddy bloggers. I found angry bloggers and total optimists; sometimes they were friends, halves that complete each other.  I read art blogs, photo blogs, adoption blogs, food blogs, dog blogs, homeschooling blogs and geeky blogs.

Some depress me. There are many teen angst blogs that suddenly stop after months of wailing about how bad their lives are. Did their lives get better so they stopped writing or worse so they couldn’t? Where do they go after they stop writing? Their thoughts still linger on the internet, captured sadness floating in cyber space.  And then there are the perfect blogs. The ones who have organic gardens and perfect children and craft all day in total bliss. Nothing ever goes wrong with their blog lives. Sometimes it is fun to escape and read about their fairy tale lives. If I spend too long on them I start to get that uncomfortable feeling I get when I read too many fashion magazines- I start feeling like Quasimodo reading about an unattainable world that leaves me lacking. (of course, I secretly want to be them)

Thirty two people read my blog today and left no comments.  I have no idea what they were looking for and I do not know if they found it. Looking over so many blogs I wonder, why blog?  Why not just keep a diary?  Why write at all? According to research done in 2008:

• 133 million – The number of blogs on the Internet (as tracked by Technorati).
• 900,000 – The number of new blog posts in a day.
• 329 million – The number of blog posts in 2008.

I can only imagine how much those numbers have increased in the past year. 

When I can’t sleep like tonight I wander through blogs.  I read the blogger whose husband went out for a bike ride and returned to her a paraplegic. She writes honestly about how they are slowly putting the shattered pieces of their lives back together a year later. I have never met her but I know more about her life than I know about many of my friends I see weekly. When sadness overtakes me I read her blog because I know she understands. Grief comes in all forms and has a mutual understanding.

Sunday was the year anniversary for our referral for our Ethiopian daughter. Although she is ‘legally’ our daughter we will probably never see her again.  I can’t believe how much pain I am feeling. It closes in on me and I can hardly breath. I tried to spend Thanksgiving being grateful for the many blessings in my life but my heart was grieving. How do we get over the things that happen to us in our life?  We get by with the help of our friends and by facing the little pieces everyday.  On Monday, still unable to see my way through this I read Pain, Pain Go Away written by Elissa Elliott, a guest blogger at Cheerio Road and I found the community I needed. I spent the morning with her and the others that commented about her post and shared similar experience. 

Heart,
I implore you,
it’s time to come back
from the dark,

(thank you, Mary Oliver)

I feel very grateful for the bloggers that share their lives with me. My life is enriched because of it.

Right now my son Nigel keeps peaking his head out from under my desk and pulling on my pant leg. “Hello mommy.”  He makes me laugh. So, kids first, then blogging. This will always be my order which is why I can not manage to post everyday and I still don’t know what all the tags are that so many bloggers have on their sites:  Digg Thiis, Save to del.icio.us, Tweet This. I don’t tell people to follow me on Facebook (follow me where?) because I haven’t been on Facebook for weeks.  (And can someone please explain the give aways?)

Why do I blog? Because it helps me sort through things, because I like to find words for my life.  I like connecting with others.  Life is often messy. It helps to have friends.

I will leave you with a random group of other bloggers that are worth checking out. Stop and have a cup of tea with them. Thanks for coming to see me.

How are you? Really?

http://cadernobranco.wordpress.com/

http://tinyhouseblog.com/

http://www.doodlersanonymous.com/

http://www.photographyblogger.net/

http://madebyanmarie.blogspot.com/

http://angrychicken.typepad.com/angry_chicken/

http://vintagesimplehome.blogspot.com/

http://orangette.blogspot.com/

http://www.artistswhoblog.blogspot.com/

http://hulaseventy.blogspot.com/

http://www.fatjuicyoyster.com/

http://myamericanmeltingpot.blogspot.com/

enjoy